Far Encounter Of The Male Kind

THIS MY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS A CLASSIC PHISHING - DON'T FALL FOR THIS

It was more of a scary ride for me, because I was alone in a town where I do not have family support, living alone. He purposely get my name wrong to fish the right one from me. I was afraid that I was being stalk, my physical appearance is not popular among the men, but I do have an income they would like to trap.


Here is how the story goes.. suddenly I receive an unknown sms from a number that is not register to my mobile - In bold is the sms

"Askum" it says... 

Me being a good polite human answered "Maaf siapa ni? Saya tukar handphone baru, no awak saya takde" (Because its quite true, I change my old nokia 2780 to the cool Samsung Galaxy Ace and me the malas never get to transfer all the numbers of old phone to the new one.. so hence each time new numbers, I give them and excuse, owh your number is lost heh)

N then he answered "O ya ke awk. Erm tentu awak dah lupa sy ni"

Duh! No shit sherlock, are you 'effing' blind? Just answer my question la. Typical. So I have to repeat my question again 'Siapa ni?'

Then he answered 'Sy Mamat' - contoh nama la ahaks - standard sms slang malay kalau saya=sy

In my brain there's just ??? because I did not recognise the name anywhere in my past or present. I answered again 'Mamat? Kerja kat mana? Are you sure you have the right person? I don't think I know any Mamat.. pls refresh my memory"

"Minah, u ada acaunt facebook tak, apa nick u" he answered back

"Maaf saya bukan minah, salah orang kot" I answered

"O ya ke awak keja d pejabat xxx tu kan" (which is correct and that surprised me). Sory ya ganggu u. Klau awk nak tgk sy kat facebook Mamat bin Mamut"

I search and couldn't find any, there's prolly few Mamat bin Mamut, sometimes if that person did not set his FB profile searchable.. couldn't find it duh!

So I answered "Tak jumpa pun, where did we know each other? Masa Keje? (which is very unlikely because I would know if there is a Mamat) Universiti? Skolah menengah?"

And then he answered dum!dum!dum! "Sebenarnya u tak kenal I dan I yg nak kenal u, maaf bg u fikit tentang I

WTF???? Are you fooking nuts? This is NOT the way to start getting to know each other. Fooking Scary IMHO. So anyway I layan just curious to see where the hell he get mah phone numbah"Ok no problem blh berkenalan, btw nama saya Amirah bukan Minah (stupid idiots-in mah head). Kat mana dapat no saya ni?"

"Perempuan yang keje kat gerai Wak Labu sebelah pejabat you tu la"

Ok I will ask around kesahihan maklumat ni tomorrow because now if after office hours and I'ma going home.

We exchange more infos, age, but he never answered what he really did for a living which kinda annoy me. And then he call me that evening.. just to hear mah voice kot.. to certain that I was female? I could be a transgendered or sound like Chris Colfer you never really know Ima woman, stupid

Well in that phone conversation all I sum up was he couldn't even produce the name of the person who gave him my phone number.. the way he answered it vague and hesitant. Imagine, if you a matchmaker (the womanlah), you want to give a girl's phone number to a potential suitor lahkan.. wouldn't it you have to sit and talk over Teh Tarik with the guy, and have a heart to heart chat.. not just carelessly tossing the phone number around.. well if this is the case, the middle lady is also not to be trusted lah kan.

After the conversation we continue a little bit smsing, He did ask about if I was renting, did I drive a car, I didn't counter question because sometimes I like to see if the person would volunteer the infos, which he did. He only had a motor not car, and lives in a kampung like seting garden house with his mom kot, that is why I conclude he is not on par with me in terms of financial, I was a bit disappointed.  So sue me alright, its human nature to value the person who kinda 'courting' you 'sekufu' ke tak kan?

My psycho-analyse self started working.... He is establishing my financial status so it seems.

Is he a classic scheme like nigerians???  LOL malay nigerian style.

 We sms some more a bit about parents and other stuff and then as suddenly he disappear without saying goodbye or salam. So that the end of conversation for the nite.

The next day, I track down Warung Wak Labu sebelah my office tu so I ask around (as far as I remember I never give my number to anyone).The buat air girl agree with me, we never exchange phone number. The owner auntie said.. prolly these serkap jarang type who does this, she also kena, but there is this statement she said, layan je la, kan single malam bukan ada keje pun??? (At that time, I did not think any of it.. maybe is something, maybe is nothing)

He started smsing me, apologising sbb finish credit eh? Hello! I'm on prepaid as well, infact this phone numbah has been with me since 2000 and I never let it run out of credit. It shows he is using a secondary sorta disposable number and how untrustworthy this male kind is or maybe he is really low on the money side.. no matter.

 
I'm still not satisfied who gave him the number I asked again after I asked around warung Wak Labu "Siapa org tgh bg no fon sy kat awak?"

"Kan saya dah bg tau semalam"

"Org keje kat warung Wak Labu kata takder, cara awak jawab mcm awak tak kenal pun kakak tu, mcm no tepon sy ni kena lelong je"

"Nape u tak suka ka org rekemen I kenal ngan u"

(OMG!!! Un Effing believable!!! I would've pull out mah hair, how typical)

"Sy nak tau siapa, sbb mcm kita minta keje kena ada rujukan kan, jd bakal majikan akan tanya lah kat orang yang dirujuk tu" (How more Idjits can you get????)

"Tak pe la klau u tak nak I tak leh wat pe sy hormat keputusan u tp sy ikhlas nak kenal ngan u"

(God!!! Cas!! will you please smite this moron *angry face*)

"Sy memang jenis suka terus terang kalau tak puas hati sy akan tanya sampai puas hati dan sy akan nilai, tula sifat saya. Jadi sy nak tau siapa kakak tu? Blh sy sembang ngan dia"

And then.... he got scared! LOL! Look like I don't need Cas for smiting anymore

One pesky pest chased away

"Tak pe lah lupakan saja mungkin kita kenal tak lama tp sy happy sgt sembang ngan u"

(In my defense I thot he was ending it - lost in smsing LOL)

Ughh...??? duh! "Ok no problem bye" (Lalala skiping to Cas's arms in my fantasy land)

And I thot my life has finally found peace untill a few minutes later

"Sy ikhlasnak kwn ngan 'Ira' (He shortened my named that already short to a nickname that made me feel like I wanna wring his neck in which he uses it generously the night before, FYI my name is Amirah, ppl call me Mira for short, it sound better, but pls don't shortened it to 'Ira') tp wat masa ni biarlah sy pegang janji ngan org tu yg bg no fon u nanti akan sy ceritakan blh tak?"

Pulak??? And he kept sending few sms which I will never answered again...

The moral of this story.. why go so elaborate 'stories'. I can smell teh lie a mile away..If you watch Navy NCIS TV series, there is this no nonsense lead character name Gibbs. He is so badass ppl afraid to call him his first name, thus Gibbs stick (actually his first name is soo kampung lol Leroy Jethro, who the hell name their kid Leroy Jethro hehehe). Anyway he had 50 rules and never wrote them and he expect his underlings to remember them all.. There is this one rule I like to add this 'Mamat' situation - Rule number seven: Always be specific when you lie

IF I layan his sms with another sarkas sms, I know the typical male kind outcome would be like : Eleh you think you so damn hot/goodlooking whatever, who wants you anyway. FYI mister male kind, I might not be as pretty as the girl next door (I know this.. girl next door is better looking than I) BUT I am a human being and deserve, if you have any intention of courtship, to be courted with RESPECT AND HONESTY. Why go all the way with this cock and bull story anyway? 

 

From all our sms the night before, we have nothing in common it seems. He hasn't watched TV for sometime and only interest in Bola. I was a kaki wayang esp action pack english ones. He did offer me at one time - to go to Tg Dawai kononnya nak shopping stuff to give to my family LOL. Kununnya nak first date/out going kat Tg Dawai??? Sorry not my cup of tea, anyway my parents are on salt and cholesterol watch, so they don't even want any salted fish or anchovies and stuff alike. We'll be like duck talking to chicken... hmm it's true 'sekufu' is important.

Word of wise : Never start a friendship/relationship with lies and secrecy it will not lead to anything good.

Seeing the glass - Half Empty or Half Full?

I just realise that.. I had no followers lol except for one friend (*wink* to that person).

I have so many feeelingss.... lol. Part of me is like.... Wait!.. What? I have no followers.. oh well *sigh* *sulk*

And part of me is like excited! Because of this I can actually write anything... no one will comment or flame or anything... no critical response, trolls. I can write no sense.. and all the 'weird' stuff

OMG! all the slash stuff.. maybe my chance to finish my unfinish fanfic without the fear of being criticise by the public, language was a problem.. I mean English is not my first language.. so the Grammar Police will miss this lol.. Hooray. All my 'deviantart' stuff, my music vid :D

Well for everything else there's always my 'rainbow weeping misha' LOL!

Skyscraper

It's been a year since that 'event' happen and that person has not clear some  stuff with me.
As tho that person wanted to 'sink' the knife a little deeper into my life.
Well I have one thing to tell you even tho maybe in your sick twisted soul you might feel happy knowing that I'm hurt, always hurt because for every fucking month there's always a reminder of your existence (don't act you don't know what I'm talking about).
Even tho you made me feel like I have nothing, you want to break me or you want tear me.

I got news for you, I'm still here, I haven't break yet.
I have not crawl into the corner and maybe cry?
Or so you thought that was going to happen,
No, that had not happen
I still go to movies to watch stories that I like
I still go to eat outside
I still go to shop grocery and food
Things that you thought you done it for me,
or you thought you were like my saviour to accompany me doing it
You think I couldn't do it on my own?

I think you were some sort self centre, selfish, egoistical excuse of a human
Before there was you, I've been doing those alone and all by myself


As I said before, I was here first!
I will wait for the day, if God willing the news will come to me
For the day that you disappear





Skyscraper - Demi Lavato

You can take everything I have, You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass, Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you, feel better
To watch me while I bleed?

All my windows still are broken, But I'm standing on my feet


You can take everything I have, You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass, Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper


Go run, run, run
I'm gonna stay right here, watch you disappear
Yeah oh

Go run, run, run
Yeah, it's a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here

Worthless

Have you ever felt that you are worthless?

You are mediocre, you are not good at anything at all like other people

This is how I am today. Hell I'm not even good at what I graduated for. I work as what I studied.. but as time move on, I mostly do the management stuff, I stray away from my core subject.

I don't know how to dance, I'm fat, I'm not pretty, I have no social skill and very few social friends (practically a loser), I don't have any talent (do I really have no talent?), I do not have a good voice to sing (But I could do an awesome music vid, and some collage artwork or photomanip), I don't know how to play musical instrument except for a recorder when I was in my primary school, does that count? I can write fiction/fanfiction in english, I could never write those fic in my own mother tongue, but I never been to write any finish fiction/fanfiction in english or any good article that is publish worthy. It's mediocre, like everyone else right.

To sum it up .... I'm good at nothing.. am I really????

What would I want to be good at? I wish I'm good at writing, not too good like Stephen King or something like that. Why? Am I not worthy of such a grandeur dream? Does it have to do about the genre that I want to write? I wish to write stuff about 'guilty pleasure'

Ok I'll be honest I want to write about yaoi romance :P. In my reality it has a lot of restriction, moral restriction, culture restriction, religion restriction...I cannot even begin with the religion restriction even with hetero romance too (the one that have all those erotic stuff).

Why do I want to write yaoi romance and sell it? For money? Do I really need the money? And the answer is no it is not for money and I don't really need the money.. well just not that bad. So I could write it for free, for myself, for stress reliever and self therapy (just like what I'm doing now anyway). Well if I write it for free then the religion restriction will have less impact. People must be wondering the heck is this restriction anway.. basically the restriction is not so much about the moral issues well it has some component to it, but the major ones is about the earning of the money. If you get it from a 'legal' way or 'illegal' so to speak. If you're earning from writing 'trash' stuff (all this are in the context of the per say religion point of view) so the earning will be 'illegal' and it has points in the after life. So if you get it, you get it, if you don't, you don't.

Well back to the point, what if I write for free? There will be no financial impact for the religion point of view. Yes I would like to do that, because then I would feel my life would be not so worthless? What is the connection? Because I did something that I really like and it will make me feel better or good even. Hence I will be not worthless... in my own point of view anyway and this will make me happier. Not to other people, people who are in the same culture and religion background. Their opinion is as always unchanged perhaps more worst.. they will see it negatively.

So what's more important here, is how you see yourself, how you judge yourself. If you are worthless that means that it is not really what other people think, it is WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.

How do I make myself see that I am better??? Now that is another story...

My Brother Sammy

This is my life... it's pathetic, it's lonely. I basically have no friends. I mean the close ones in regards to locations. The ones that you go shopping with, watch movies... how do I end up here? I had a 'Sam Winchester' once in my life. I was Dean and this person is my Sammy without the 'wincest'. But my Sam is sadly not Sam Winchester, my Sam is more worst than Sam Winchester. My Sam does not know what is the meaning of honesty, friendship, love and family.  My Sam did more than just fuck around with Ruby. My Sam became Ruby and like any other demon, they lied, they betray and then they stab you in the back. Do I have regret for being Dean to this Sam? I don't know, maybe I do, maybe I do. Through the years I grew up, my Sam was a constant, thus then I was happy. But regrettably, My Sammy does not know what Dean meant. My Sammy had Dean all this while, since the very beginning, do not know how to appreciate that.

Some people say, I made the wrong choice when I decide to be Dean to my Sam, but I guess if things do not happen the way it does, then I would not know. I would not know how a person could do a 180 degree and turn into someone you don't know anymore. You read it a lot in the fiction, watch it on TV, but now I know how it feel. If I could say, I made wrong choices, I guess I could put it on the things that I choose during my studies.  I imagine life without Sammy going through university.. I would still end up alone here today I guess with no friends in the same location

But in the end, I realise I'm no Dean Winchester because Dean would take Sam just as he is... tainted with demon blood and all. But what would Dean do, if Sam turns into a demon?
Dean would try and save Sam, I think. But I'm not Dean... and I don't save Sam. Is  it because we're not of blood like the real Winchesters? Would I want to save my Sammy, if we were blood?

I don't know...